Monday, November 14, 2011

Jeweler, you failed.

There's a scene in the movie Help! where John brings Ringo to a jeweler to have the mysterious ring removed from Ringo's finger. Of course, no matter how hard he tries, the ring stays firm. John, then pronounces, entirely deadpan, "Jeweler, you failed." Here's the clip on youtube.

I had never seen Help! until I started dating my husband and of all the famous lines from movies that occasionally run through my brain, I think this is probably the lamest, but nevertheless, whenever I see a failure of some kind, I think it.

When it came to science experiments this week, this jeweler certainly failed.

So far our biology curriculum has been going pretty well. The move set us behind a couple weeks and that disappoints me, but I've decided not to rush to catch up. We'll just forge ahead at a consistent pace (or try to) and see where it takes us. We have done very well making science a hands-on experience with all the models Gabby's made. She built her atom, her gumdrop molecules, and she just finished a terrific model of an animal cell.

Here's the cell. There are holes cut for each organelle and on the back you can read about them.

But experiments have been harder for us. I have craft supplies galore -- great for models -- but what do I have that's good for experiments in freshman biology?

This week Gabby and I attempted 3 experiments. Every one was a failure.

The first was a diffusion lab. This was to conclude our chapter on the cell. We had to fill plastic baggies with a cornstarch solution and place them in an iodine solution. Sounds simple, right? Well, we did exactly what we were supposed to do and it did not do its part.

The bag was supposed to work as a selectively permeable membrane, only allowing the iodine solution in. We would have been able to see that because the iodine would have reacted with starch, turning blue. Nothing happened to our starch solution! It stayed perfectly cloudy white. The iodine solution did change though. It started turning a dark brown or black. We realized that for whatever reason our bag was acting as a selectively permeable membrane -- only letting the starch solution pass! So I guess that one wasn't a total bust. It still illustrated the concept but I wouldn't give us a gold star or anything.

The next one was supposed show how light affects leaves. We colored some leaves with black construction paper and others with different colors of cellophane and placed the plant in a sunny window. Of course, for the next few days we had cloudy weather. The covered leaves looked no different from the rest of the leaves. It may be because of our choice of plant. This time of year, I could only find poinsettias. Alas.

The final lab should have been our simplest. A paper chromatography lab. We followed the instructions EXACTLY. I sent Gabby and William into our yard to collect leaves. We thought it would be fun to collect leaves of all colors: green, red, yellow, purple. We cut them up and put them in cups with acetone (nail polish remover) and let it sit for 24 hours. When we came back to it the acetone was tinted with the colors of the leaves. We dipped strips of coffee filter in and waited for different colored lines to appear. We got nothing! I couldn't believe it. In fact, I was so mad that I found another website, same lab but somewhat different instructions. We're going to do it all over again. We will succeed!

I think a situation like this is why a friend of mine, Susan, says to always test object lessons at home before performing them for the Sunday School class!

Well, I tested at home, but home was the class!

I can only hope for better results in the future. Or better experiments. Or a better biology instructor -- who just happens to come knocking on my door. That's likely, right? Maybe. Tomorrow never knows.


Our 3 failed labs

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